My friend Jess wanted to take me out to martinis tonight. Who am I to turn down a cute girl who wants to buy me drinks?

We met up at The X&O in Stoughton at around 10PM. The drink menu was mostly fruity martinis which was okay by me after my vodka experience yesterday. Most martinis apparently have vodka in them, though, which was making me a little leery.

I asked the bartender if he suggested anything.

“What do you like?”, he asked.

“I don’t know”, I replied. This has been my standard answer over the past few days.

“Well what do you normally drink?”

“Nothing”

“You don’t drink?”

“Nope.”

“Then you shouldn’t be having a martini. I don’t want you falling off my barstool.”

I wouldn’t say that he sounded annoyed, per se, but he wasn’t exactly joking when he said it. I told him I’d be okay and that Jess would take care of me. He suggested something called … Pink Pussycat. Seriously.

I think he was just fucking with me.

I got it anyway. It wasn’t half bad. I tried some of Jess’ which was a Passion Nite. They all had clever named like this. Basically it’s vodka and pineapple juice and some other stuff to make it pink.

After tasting both we concluded that he went a little light on the alcohol in mine. I felt kind of gipped, but I didn’t want to say anything. We were frisked and wanded when we walked into the place so arguing may have led to a swift exit.

Still, by the time the drink was nearly done, I felt a little tipsy. Similar to how I felt in New York when I had the whiskey and ginger and glass of wine. One drink? I’m a cheap date.

I decided to show the bartender my new card trick and I flubbed the sleight of hand bit. He called me on it and sort of smirked at me.

Mental note: No card tricks when drinking.

After we finished our drinks, we were a little hungry so we decided to wander over to Wendy’s. I know, I know. Fast food is terrible. I agree. But it was pushing midnight in Stoughton and I was definitely in no shape to drive. We wandered over there and I felt giddy. I guess I was in the “euphoric” stage of intoxication. Is this what people call a buzz?

I don’t remember exactly how the conversation led down the path, but Jess thought it would be hilarious if I take a pregnancy test to verify that I’m not pregnant. We went into the CVS and I promptly asked the dude behind the counter where the men’s room was because I should have went before we left the bar.

He started jogging out from behind the counter so I asked “Are we jogging there?” and of course he said “Yes!”

So we jogged to the restroom. It was a little surreal.

We bought a pregnancy test and with a completely straight face the cashier asked me if I wanted a receipt. I told him I didn’t think I’d be returning it.

We took the car through the Drive Through (Jess was completely fine after one drink so she drove) and got something to much on. By the time I was done eating over an hour had passed since the drink and I felt fine. We killed a bit more time and finally parted ways.

All in all it was an amusing and entertaining night. It’s amusing to think that a single drink can pretty much do me in. I guess I won’t have to worry about going broke drinking?

Oh, and I’m not pregnant:

The single blue line means not pregnant. I guess two blue lines means pregnant. That was the least complicated of all of them. Some of them were two lines or a line and a plus sign, etc. Shouldn’t these things be easy to read?

Tomorrow is Friday, and then the weekend. I can stay out as late as I want and don’t have work until Monday. This should be interesting.